Looking at conflict through the lens of personality makes it easier to effectively unpack even the most complex dynamics fueled by contradictory needs and sentiments.
In the case of Cristina and Burke, the irreconcilable differences in their relationship mirrored the internal struggles each had between a core truth of their identity and a perspective they grew to value through life experience. Understanding how each personality framed and navigated its internal struggles can offer insight on how it is possible to redirect such struggles in support of (instead of against) interpersonal compatibility.
As mentioned in the previous post, Cristina’s core personality type is the Physical Changemaker and Burke’s is the Ideas Explorer.
As a Physical Changemaker, Cristina’s character has strong resistance to accepting externally imposed limitations of any kind. However, living in a society that associates love with commitment and sacrifice (especially for women) pushed Cristina to a place where she saw choosing to stay unmarried as failing the man she loved, their relationship and herself. Eventually agreeing to marry Burke was a way out of that internal contradiction rather than a way into the future of her own choosing.
As an Ideas Explorer, Burke’s character craves emotional intensity in all aspects of love and family life. His vision for marriage is one where all emotional intimacy is nurtured and guarded with full attention and without compromise. However, as a man whose sense of value in society makes it unthinkable for him to compromise his own career for family, he cannot help but expect Cristina to burden that choice and prioritize his vision of family at the expense of her own professional identity. Ultimately he recognizes the incongruity in that expectation and chooses to leave Cristina, resigned to a perception of reality where he must sacrifice his deepest romantic passion for the family life he values.
The next post will continue to explore the role of core and bodyguard personalities in these internal struggles, while considering alternative responses to the dilemmas that ultimately tore Cristina and Burke apart.